Paula and the Grace of God.

I've been trying to find a way to blend my two blogs to simplify things and get back into writing, but I can't find a way to meld them.  This post talks about a pivotal moment in my life and reminds me why I do what I do.  It's from a few years ago.

First published Sunday September 15, 2013.

Paula and the Grace of God.

I had been looking forward to this weekend for quite a while.  One of the churches in town had a big event planned for the Beth Moore simulcast on Saturday and I had invited a couple friends from church.  At the last minute, it ended up that neither of them could come, but I didn't want to miss it, so I just went by myself.  I figured I would see someone I knew there and sit with them.

When I got there, everyone I knew had a full table and I felt a little conspicuous waiting around for a seat with someone I knew, so I just decided to grab a seat at a table with some ladies I'd never met.  When I sat down, I looked across the table and realized that one of the ladies sitting with me was a former TC staffer from our women's centre and I was glad to get to catch up with her.

The lady sitting next to her was an older first nations lady and she was eager to know if I had ever met her daughter Paula in my time with TC.  I told her I had met Paula almost 2 years ago when she was trying to get into our program.

We had been holding a bed at our women's centre (where we work with women with life-controlling addictions and show them the way to freedom through Jesus Christ) for Paula for a couple of weeks already when Robby (my husband) and I picked her up for coffee.  She was not sounding good.  There was a serious lack of hope going on and I think she was feeling pretty well defeated.  We were asking her lots of questions trying to figure out whether she was really serious about coming into the program and changing her life.  We wanted to help her with some of her fees and the costs of packing up her life and moving into our women's home for a year.  When I asked her why she wanted to come into TC, her answer was, "if I don't come now, I'll die."  That statement from Paula impacted me deeply and kept me praying long after it was clear that she had given up fighting against her addiction to come into the program.  I continued to phone her and send messages over Facebook, but it seemed Paula was no longer ready for TC.  I can remember praying for Paula as recently as a month ago.  

What Paula's mom, Elizabeth, said next caught me completely off guard and shook me to my core.

"She died almost a year ago, you know."

The lovely, hurting, broken girl I had been praying for for so long was gone.  I was hurt and just couldn't understand how God could let something like that happen.  Then Elizabeth told me that Paula had accepted Christ a few weeks before she died.  She was trying so hard to get free from her addiction and she had been making progress.  I really had peace about the whole thing at that point.  I started thinking about what Revelation 21:4 says about where Paula is now:

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying.  There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."

This has all been a long journey for Elizabeth of healing and grieving and it will continue for her for the rest of her life.  Much like my journey of loss and grieving over the death of my Dad will never be done until I see him again in glory.  For me, peace about Paula's death came quickly because I was never really close to her, and I can look at things from a more objective standpoint.  I don't have to mourn for her because she's in eternity with Christ and her addiction has no power over her anymore.  She's in peace for eternity in a place where there's nothing but joy.

All of this has had me really processing for the rest of the weekend.  I feel like I have a much different perspective about outreach and the time we spend with people in need.  We never know what is going to happen or how long anyone has left here on earth.  We need to take the opportunities we have with people to tell them the good news of the love of Christ and trust God to open their hearts to the truth.  Christ died to set all people free from the bondage of sin and the only thing he requires of us is to be utterly broken in our need and to trust his sacrifice for our salvation.  We no longer have to fear death when we take that step of faith and trust Jesus that he's paid the price for our sin nature.  The natural outpouring of gratitude for what he's done for us is to live our lives to honour him and help others understand who he is and what he did for them.

I'm so thankful for what Jesus did for me and Paula too!  Did you know he died to save you also?